Crusher | May 24, 2013
No comments

Some Ideas For Memorial Day Polo

memorial day
  1. If you have veterans in your club, let them play every game until they don’t want to anymore. If you don’t, ask yourself what kind of lame people you hang  out with. 
  2. Force the newest player to cook hot dogs for you all day. If you’re a vegan/vegetarian, force the newest player to hunt quinoa for you.
  3. Every time your team makes a goal, raise a mallet in the same manner as the famous Iwo Jima picture:WW2_Iwo_Jima_flag_raising
  4. Eat as many burgers as you can as a club and then have a competition to see who can hold them in the longest while playing fast games.
  5. Roman Candles. Because of reasons.
  6. Find a Drill Sergeant willing to come out as a “new player” and have them harass a player from your club until they cry.
  7. Ask your club to bow their heads for a few moments to honor Memorial Day. Then just don’t let them stop doing it. See how long you can make that go on.
  8. Every time someone scores, require that they shout “‘MERICA, F*CK YEAH! (I don’t know how you say the asterix either) and then drink a shot of Jack Daniels.
  9. Bring roses for every empty PBR can your club creates.
  10. Put up a Christmas Tree at your court and don’t talk about it.

 

 

Category: Other than Polo | Tags: , ,
Crusher | May 23, 2013
No comments

Keep the dream alive! (How to make the best of a losing situation)

Rudy

You’re playing slayers–slayers with a capital s: Slayers. They started the game by biting the necks off of whiskey bottles and eating the glass. You look to your left and see your “offensive” player doing something kind of offensive in his pants. You look to your right and see your “defensive” player crawling up the boards to get out of the court.

You’ve had better days at polo.

You start the game and somehow, just after you start blinking and before opening your eyes, the opposing team scores a goal. You begin to say “How” but you only get to the hhhhuuuhhh in how before they steal the ball from your team and score again.

What do they feed these people? Crack rocks and angst?!

Calm down–take a deep breath–old papa Crusher is here to guide you through this experience.
Read more

Category: Tips, Tournaments | Tags: , , ,
Crusher | May 23, 2013
No comments

What I learned at polo: first humid day of the year edition

sweating

I think I drank 120 ounces of Gatorade yesterday. No lie. The one thing I forget all the time about hot weather polo is that the humidity takes the wind out of your sales faster than a tom cat runs from a sidewindin’ grandma’s broom.

I wanted to see how much I could mix that one up. Thanks for following along.

So, after playing for a few hours I was exhausted-to-the-point-of-not-caring-I-smelled. I’m still tired today, and would be more than happy to crawl under a rock and stay there for a few days to recover.

But, alas, that would not make for very interesting blog posting. So here’s a few things I learned yesterday at humidity polo:

1. Pace Yourself: Yeah, you could make that break-away or chase the ball to the other end of the court – but is it worth it? The heat (at least to us Pennsylvanians in the mid-state), gives reason to pause. Your body is only going to let you make big runs so many times before it gets angry with you, so choose that battle wisely. Conserve some energy – especially early in the hot-months – for the whole day.

2. Drink some liquids after every game: Your body is producing lactic acid and also sweating. Both of these things are horrible for your muscles. After each game, take a few swallows of water/sports drink/beer(not really) to keep yourself hydrated and thankful the day after.

3. Ball physics change: if you’ve got a big cooler, chances are your icing your polo balls. If you’re doing that, chances are you’re going to hit Yeager right in the kneecap with a frozen ball and he’ll be passively pissed off and limping for the rest of the day.

Remember to let your hot balls warm up a touch before playing with them to allow some normalcy of play. The hardening of the ball changes how it reacts, and that’s something to keep in mind.

4. Build up your endurance: Yeah, so maybe you want to sit every other game. Hell, that might not be a bad idea overall – but learning to play in the heat is just as important as knowing how to play in the cold. Build up your tolerance to the weather and your ability to keep a level head no matter what the thermometer says.

Category: Tips | Tags: , ,
Crusher | May 22, 2013
No comments

Jinxy does it right

I’ve always wanted a Jinxy wheel cover – they are the actual size of the wheel (I always make ovals), they are printed on rather than magic-markerered on, and damn – they are just a right of passage in the bike polo world.

And now I , (and a few others in the club) have our own Jinxy wheelcovers.

They’re…beautiful…

IMG_6698Wanna get your own? Go here: jinxywheelcovers@gmail.com

 

I should also note: Our own Lumberjack did the design and the modification to that design for these wheel covers, and that makes them just superswell, too.

Category: Equipment | Tags: , , ,
Crusher | May 22, 2013
No comments

Breaking Habits

breaking habits

Habits, we all have them. Some of them are pretty spectacular (like Irish’s habit of hitting the ball really, really hard, or Karl’s habit of defying physics…most days…). But there are also useless habits that polo players can find themselves taking part in.

By way of example, I have the habit of getting to involved in keeping the ball and slowly trudging my way towards goal. I should look around and pass – I should be interacting more with my team. But I just keep on trucking towards the goal in what will inevitably be a missed shot.

I also have the habit of sitting too close to people on the bench and asking personal questions, but I’m comfortable with that one.

So how does one beat a habit in polo? According to research which I will misquote and is more than likely made up, if you do an action something like 30 times (maybe it’s 45. I know it was a number that had numbers in it), it becomes a habit. Using this quasi-science, let’s look at some ways to bust the trend and expand your instincts.  Read more

Category: Tips | Tags: , , ,
Crusher | May 21, 2013
4 comments

Not If, But When?: Women’s League in Bike Polo

men women

There is a lot to love about bike polo. The sport has made it possible for me to lose weight, vent my rage-face in a pleasant fashion, and introduced me to the joys of PBR (which I really didn’t like at all back in the day but now I find no tourney complete without kicking a few back after elimination…so Sunday morning, in most cases…).

But, what really makes my heart happy is that ladies and gents play the same sport at the same time in the same teams with the same rules. As evidenced by my very first post on the matter, I think women in bike polo are awesome, and it makes me feel more-than-pride when I find the opportunity to explain to people that our sport has always been mix gender.

In a recent interview with some of the organizers of Ladies Army 5, however, two responses that caught my eye:

Do you think there should be more lady-specific tourneys?

I think they are great, and there are more: Hells Belles has done really well.  Mallet Dolorosa in Berlin April 6-7 this year.  I know there is a concern about a gender split in the sport, and that there is minor support for a gender split (from the women’s side, I haven’t heard anything from the men’s side), but I don’t see that happening anytime soon, and personally, I hope it never does.  I also think the rise of the co-ed tournaments is filling a gap.

Shannon would also like to try and avoid segregation of the sport, and although some people feel it is an inevitability, she too would like to postpone that for as long as possible.  “There is a place for women in bike polo and I’d like for us to have a chance to prove that.  One female-only tournament is already kind of pushing our luck, but I’ve always felt that as long as the primary focus of the tournament was fun and encouragement it would be hard to argue that it was “unfair” for us to have.”

I never really thought about it until I read that there was a small contingent pushing to segregate the sport, and that it was viewed as an inevitability. It got me to thinking about what that would mean, overall, and how it would change the sport as a whole.

I’m not proposing answers, here. I’m theorizing and philosophizing, so let me first make this blanket statement: I hate the idea of separating men and women in the sport of bike polo. I hate it hard. With my brief tourney encounters with the likes of Shelley, Quinn, Jessie, Erica and Chandel (just to name a few), it became apparent that the ladies of the sport could more than hold their own against men. Hell, I’d say all the names mentioned above are players who could readily destroy me in a game.

But as the sport grows and, presumably, ladies specific tourneys continue to grow in size and number (which is good!), people will begin to wonder if the separation is warranted. They’ll look at almost every other sport and say “well, they must have done it for a reason, right?”

But have you watched ladies lacrosse? Man that’s weird. They have a no contact bubble. What?!

Would there be benefits? Probably some: women who aren’t playing the sport now might me more apt to start playing, there would be more tourneys that sprout up, and more recognition for the women who have already made a name for themselves in the sport.

But is that worth it? Would we as a sport lose something bigger by separating sexes like some middle school square dance?

I think we would – but I sure as hell want to hear your opinion.

Category: Stories, Tournaments | Tags: , , ,
Crusher | May 21, 2013
2 comments

So You Want to Be a Jerk

jerk2

We all know at least one: the jerk at the tourney. The guy who is just good enough that you can’t seem to “teach him a lesson” like you did to that one kid in 2nd grade kickball (right in the nutzzzz), but is also amazingly skilled at raising your cackles and blood pressure. They guy who gives you that little poopy smirk after checking you into the boards or making you tangle yourself up in your own bike.

You can either beat him or join him, and I’m all for giving you the guided tour on how to become the jerk-at-polo. Or, the Jerkalow.

1. Don’t ever say your sorry: pity is for the week. The other guy should have seen your mallet coming towards his face. That’s what face cages are for, anyway.

2. The lion doesn’t lose sleep over the opinion of sheep: oh, the ref is telling you that you’re being too aggressive? Who cares, he’s not the boss of you, and neither is anyone else. 

Jerk3. That “grey” area of polo is there to exploit: It could have been a wheel dick, but it might also be incidental. You may have just hacked, but nobody really saw it other than the guy who is staring at you like you’ve got two heads. Yeah, as long as you can get away with it, you’re fine. It’s the other player’s fault for creating the opportunity, right? They were asking for it.

4. Don’t let go of the last game: THAT DUDE TOTALLY HIT YOUR STEERING ARM ON PURPOSE AND YOU CAN TELL BECAUSE HE SAID “HEY, SORRY” AND “I DIDN’T MEAN TO HIT YOUR STEERING ARM” WHAT A JERKHEAD. Hate him for the rest of the tourney. Hell, hate him for the rest of his life.

5. You made a bad pass? WRONG: they made a bad reception: you don’t do anything wrong. You don’t do anything wrong. You don’t do anything wrong. Make sure you yell at them so they know you don’t do anything wrong.

tumblr_lsiof9AhvZ1qbkh8go1_4006. Don’t tap mallets at the end of a game: remember how bad ass you felt when you walked away after baseball without lining up to shake hands? Remember how all the  other fifth graders would talk about it the next day? Yeah, it still works. Those fifth graders will think you’re the baddest mother around.

 

Just work on  those and you’re sure to be the jerkiest jerk at your next jerkfest. I’m sure you’ll find a team no problem.

Category: Tips | Tags: , , , ,
Crusher | May 20, 2013
No comments

Lancaster United, Lego Edition

The whole gang!

One of our player’s little polokins were playing around and dreaming of bike polo (as all good polokins do), and the following pictures were the result. A big thanks to both E- and A- for making these come to life and for remembering to make me a head shorter than every other lego figure out there, haahaa! Likewise, thanks to Erin for bringing these to my attention and for sending them my way.

 

 

Category: Photos | Tags: , ,
Crusher | May 20, 2013
No comments

Everything You Never Wanted to Know: Interview with Crusher.

DSC_0512

“When there’s nothing left to burn, you must set yourself on fire.”

Or, alternately, when you haven’t anyone to interview, you should just do a little one on yourself. So that’s what I’m going to do.

Crusher is the editor and workhorse of Lancasterpolo.com and a club member of Lancaster United Bike Polo. He sat down as me to conduct this interview. We discussed playing versus understanding the sport, his rise to interweb fame, and the dangers of split personality disorders.

Tell me about your set up (bike, equipment, etc):

DSC_0543Wellsir, I currently roll around on a prototype V1 Fixcraft frame and fork, with Ryno Lite 26″ rims and RiBMo tires. Oury grips, Profile chainring, White Freewheel.

As far as my mallets go, I currently have a fixcraft Unibody Head attached to one of those new LT shafts (via a cleat, which I’m excited about seeing out on the market), an ARC mallet head attached to an old Fixcraft XT, A MILK head attached to an Arena Creamy shaft, and an Arena head attached to an Arena Creamy Shaft.

Everything outside of that is pretty boring. Oh, platform pedals. That’s exciting, right?

When did you start playing bike polo, and where.

LUBPI started playing bike polo in October of 2011, and I’ve always played for Lancaster United (of course, back then we didn’t have many York players and we were called Lancaster City Bike Polo). As I’ve said before on this blog, it was Horse that got me started in this whole mess, but it was the club that kept me coming back for more. It’s a good thing.

What has changed from the first time you started playing to now?

Do you mean for myself, my club, or the sport in general?

All of them,  I guess.

That was kinda a shitty interview question, don’t you think?

I guess…

Not very specific, I mean.

Yeah.

Well, anyway: asking how a player has changed from the first time they played to where they are now is kinda silly. Hopefully the answer is “quite a lot.” For one thing, I’m not rolling around on a bike from the sixties. Before playing bike polo, I hadn’t been on a bike at all since I was fifteen or so. As you can expect, my bike handling is steadily improving with time. I’m not nearly so violent on the bike now, either, as I think can be said about the majority of Lancaster United and the sport in general.

Lancaster United Bike Polo 25My club has changed dramatically: we have a pretty even mix of Lancastrians and Yorkers playing, with about 12-14 people coming out on the biggest days. We’ve secured two tennis courts to play on in the city (though we never do), and have a pretty good relationship with the hockey players of an outdoor rink between York and Lancaster, which we used for the Keystone Classic and for most every pickup day. We as a club are trying to be more active in the sport at large, and as such are hosting the 2014 Eastside regional qualifiers. So there.

The sport, looking at it as a whole, has changed to be a bit more regulated and a bit more intense, I think. Not more brutal – but intense. Skill is winning out against power and there are more “big name” players in the sport. Companies are springing up everywhere to make equipment, and more people who don’t play are at least mildly aware of the sport. That’s kinda fun.

So tell me about the blog: how did it get started, and how did it get to where it is now?

The blog started out of a meeting Lancaster polo players had at a local watering hole. We were talking about how to move or club forward, and people were making really great suggestions on outreach, securing areas to play, etc.

crusherI really didn’t have anything to contribute, as I was a general miscreant and not very useful. So, semi-drunkenly, I blurted out “I’ll start a blog and stuffffffffffffff” and I kept making that “f” noise until someone slapped me.

On the walk back to my house, fighting against the small blizzard that hit Lancaster that night, I realized what a horrible mistake I made.

So I avoided it until the other Lancaster guys got angry at me, then I went ahead and just started posting stuff: jokes at other players, tips about playing, and whatever else popped into my head.

After about a year, I noticed that we were getting more visitors from out of Lancaster than from within it. After two years I noticed we were getting worldwide attention on the blog. Thus ended my hope of operating it for just long enough that I could slink away from it and nobody would be the wiser.

Sounds like you really don’t like it.

That’s an outright lie, and you’re trying to turn the people against me. I do love the blog and how much people seem to like it. It takes a lot of time, sure, but how better to spend time than talking about the sport.

I think the part I like the most is simply that I have been able to be really opinionated without people losing their minds. I think the readership understands that the majority of articles are based around opinion (not hard facts), and that works well for both of us.

You receive a fair amount of products to review for free – doesn’t that kinda make you careful about how you review them. Read more

Category: Interviews | Tags: , , ,
Crusher | May 15, 2013
No comments

Missing polo tonight

I’m getting ready to graduate tomorrow, and that means I’m packing up my writerly things and fluffing my beard just-so. Unfortunately this also means I’ll be missing bike polo tonight to catch up on office work and/or preparing my liver for the after-party.

I’d like to imagine that bike polo tonight will be a lot like this:

 

Anyway – I’ll be graduating tomorrow and drinking the rest of the day away, so I’ll see you on the other side. Cheers.

Category: Stories |
« Older Entries