Tag Archive for Sochi 2014 Olympics

Local Bike Polo Team Goes to Sochi Olympics


Sochi, Russia–Local bike polo team “The Farmer’s Daughters” arrived in Sochi yesterday to participate in the 2014 Winter Olympics. The three players; David Magbee, Troy Young, and Emilie Watts, touched down just 12 hours before the games were set to commence due to a scheduling error on the part of their coach, Matthew “Horse” Krofcheck.

“Does anyone really know how to figure out local time?” Krofcheck said when asked about the mix-up.

The Sochi Olympics are shrouded in scandal already, and the late arrival of the three American Bike Polo players adds to the already tenuous relationship the States have with the Russian Federation.

“In Soviet Russia, schedule keeps you,” a stereotypical representative of Russia said, probably after drinking “whodka” and wrestling a bear or something.

Despite the mix-up, “The Farmer’s Daughters” have high hopes for a good showing during the games.

Sochi 2014

The press conference was held here, at the parking lot outside of a Vodka supercenter

“I think we’re the only team here who even plays bike polo,” Watts explained. “No, I don’t mean that as a sarcastic jab at other players. I really think we’re the only people who are here to play bike polo.”

“Is it even an Olympic game?” Young asked reporters at a press conference held in a parking lot.

“We don’t even have matching team shirts.” Magbee ┬ásaid when asked how prepared he felt for the games.

The three, after a lengthy call to the US Embassy and a much louder call to their coach in the States, have decided to press on and try to combine bike polo with a recognized 2014 Olympic sport. The Sochi games will be the first to feature Bike Polo Bobsled.

“We’re going to die doing this, aren’t we,” Watts said as they rode off towards the Olympic Village.