As ESPIs approaches I find it harder and harder to come up with decent topics to discuss. While I have alot of exciting things coming down the line (NS Glove review, Creamy mallet review, 3 interviews once I get around to actually sending out the bloody questions), I don’t have anything on my mind right now except for the glory that is ESPIs.

 So, in marveling in Lancaster United’s ability to get 3 teams out to the tourney, I also began to think about what each team’s strengths and weakenesses are. Here are my findings:

OFA (Old, Fat, & Angry)

Players: Lumberjack, Horse, Karl

Strengths: Lightning quick pedalling, ball control, 3 of the best players in our club

Weakness: Since there are no trees near the court, Lumberjack is likely to loose his source of power from them, bringing the team down to 2.

Most likely to: lose a game due to missing a court time after leaving the tourney to find a taco truck.

No Seriously, Let’s Wait Until The Last Minute

Players: Zach, Yeager, Gene-o

Strengths: Shooting, a goal troll, and raw trucker intimidation

Weaknesses: The police look down on assault, public drunkeness, and zach will probably take his shirt off at one point or another.;

Most likely to: get disqualified when Yeager decides to sleep in the goal in-between games (and then refuses to get out when a game is slated to start).

Scrimmage

Players: Irish, Ted, Crusher

Strengths: Communication, defense, and an Irishman’s rage

Weaknesses: We have access to alcohol but do not have access to self restraint.

Most likely to: heckle the shit out of every team, and then offer them beer at camp as a way of apology.