Tag Archive for bike polo snow

Things to do when you can’t play polo

2014-01-03 10.02.53

The view from the polo war room is looking dismal. It’s feeling pretty dismal too, as the heat doesn’t make it’s way very well to this floor and it’s just at the level of being a touch too chilly.

Point in fact, if anyone wants to donate some space heaters to your old friend Crusher, I’ll be more than happy to take them. I am wrapping a blanket around myself and find it makes me want to fake my grandmother’s accent and pinch cheeks. Weird.

Still, it’s better than outside, which looks and feels like something I saw in a movie once.


And it makes me sincerely doubt, given the forecast of unbelievable cold, that the snow will melt away before Sunday Funday comes around. This is more than upsetting.

I’m assuming that there are a good number of bike polo clubs around the country that aren’t going to be able to play this weekend due to the weather, so I thought I’d share a few ways you can still stay in that polo mindset even if you can’t crush it on the court.

One of the best ways is to watch bike polo videosIf you have good headphones, you can basically imagine you’re not in the guts of a Taun Taun trying to stay warm. Plus watching the sport is a low-impact way to participate in it when you aren’t able to go out into the environment due to almost certain frostbite.

Or, if you’re more of a hands on kinda polokin, you can spend the time checking your equipment. Look at your spokes, check your mallet for bends, or even clean out your disgusting bag and re-organize it. A day where you would otherwise be playing (thereby, you have the time) is a great way to put forth the effort that otherwise would cut into more enjoyable things. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think checking your bike polo stuff is really a pain, it’s just something that lots of folks overlook.

Or how about practicing ball control inside. You need to make sure mom doesn’t catch you, but if you can find an open-ish space (basement, living room, heated garage?) you can certainly work on getting more comfortable with moving the ball around. Work on your scooping or switching directions quickly. This can pay huge dividends on the court whenever the sun returns to us.

Perhaps the most fun thing to do is to have a club day at a bar. So you are all planing to spend a few hours playing polo, but now your court looks like a barren waste in Siberia. Well, you already set that time apart–how about you just meet up with your club-mates and have a few pints? Not into drinking? Well how about you all go somewhere to catch a movie–or even just to have a mallet building party or some such. It’s fun to meet up with a bunch f polo players and talk polo, so why not?

Or you could just sit at your computer and complain on Facebook about how dumb snow is. Your choice.

We Didn’t Play Polo, But…

2013-12-08 12.14.30

Sunday morning started like any other Sunday here at Lancaster Polo Dot Com headquarters–with my dog’s nose pushing on my forehead, reminding me that it was time to pee and eat food. So that’s precisely what I did, taking a peek outside to see that there was indeed no snow on the ground.

Around 10 AM I made omelets for my wife and I (mushroom, pepper, and onion, as I’m sure you’re curious) and there started to be a few flakes flittering down from the heavens.

What-ev-ah, I said. I’ll just put on a hat to protect my delicate skull from melting snow.

2013-12-08 12.14.34But by the time I actually hit the road, it was coming down very well. My normal drive of twenty or so minutes turned into one of maybe a half hour. Not terrible, I grant you, but I certainly could have read the signs at that point.

Where we play is perched on top of a hill, and that hill makes itself very apparent when there is ice or snow. This isn’t important now, but it will be later on in the tale.

So I get to our courts just as the hockey players are leaving. The goalie (a boisterous, foaming-at-the-mouth type) tells me that they played for as long as they could, but the court was getting too thick for their roller blades and they decided to pack it in. I told him we’d give it a shot and he laughed at me long enough that I felt the need to turn away from him.

Rodney showed up then, and we discussed how stupid we were for being there. I went out on the court and did a series of front wheel skids, which was a new experience for me and not altogether unenjoyable.

2013-12-08 12.14.38Then Troy showed up and promptly announced we were idiots, and we agreed. From that point all three of us rolled around the court, and I found one of the ice patches that formed near the goal.

I didn’t hurt myself too terribly when I fell, but I decided to take my time getting up by first making a polo snow angel. That was the best thing to have happened while courtside.

After I got up and snapped a few quick pictures (to prove that we three were the strongest and dumbest of our club), people began posting on facebook that they were not coming out. We weren’t surprised, and decided to head back to our warm little polo hovels ourselves.

And that’s when that hill I told you about came into play. You see, I tried to go back the same way I came, but an ice truck had slid sideways about halfway down the hill, and I was waved to a stop by a woman in a van.

“If you go down that way, you’ll DIE.”

I thought it was a bit dramatic of a statement, and I tried to peer down the hill to see the Earth opening up with tentacles coming out (how else could she be so sure of my death), but she said it again and then told me to go any other way. She was a goof, but not incorrect, so I turned my delightfully bad-in-the-snow Saturn Ion around and found the highway, taking a good hour to get home.

So instead of playing polo I cheated imminent death and read 200 pages of Storm of Swords.