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Not If, But When?: Women’s League in Bike Polo

men women

There is a lot to love about bike polo. The sport has made it possible for me to lose weight, vent my rage-face in a pleasant fashion, and introduced me to the joys of PBR (which I really didn’t like at all back in the day but now I find no tourney complete without kicking a few back after elimination…so Sunday morning, in most cases…).

But, what really makes my heart happy is that ladies and gents play the same sport at the same time in the same teams with the same rules. As evidenced by my very first post on the matter, I think women in bike polo are awesome, and it makes me feel more-than-pride when I find the opportunity to explain to people that our sport has always been mix gender.

In a recent interview with some of the organizers of Ladies Army 5, however, two responses that caught my eye:

Do you think there should be more lady-specific tourneys?

I think they are great, and there are more: Hells Belles has done really well.  Mallet Dolorosa in Berlin April 6-7 this year.  I know there is a concern about a gender split in the sport, and that there is minor support for a gender split (from the women’s side, I haven’t heard anything from the men’s side), but I don’t see that happening anytime soon, and personally, I hope it never does.  I also think the rise of the co-ed tournaments is filling a gap.

Shannon would also like to try and avoid segregation of the sport, and although some people feel it is an inevitability, she too would like to postpone that for as long as possible.  “There is a place for women in bike polo and I’d like for us to have a chance to prove that.  One female-only tournament is already kind of pushing our luck, but I’ve always felt that as long as the primary focus of the tournament was fun and encouragement it would be hard to argue that it was “unfair” for us to have.”

I never really thought about it until I read that there was a small contingent pushing to segregate the sport, and that it was viewed as an inevitability. It got me to thinking about what that would mean, overall, and how it would change the sport as a whole.

I’m not proposing answers, here. I’m theorizing and philosophizing, so let me first make this blanket statement: I hate the idea of separating men and women in the sport of bike polo. I hate it hard. With my brief tourney encounters with the likes of Shelly, Quinn, Jessie, Erica and Chandel (just to name a few), it became apparent that the ladies of the sport could more than hold their own against men. Hell, I’d say all the names mentioned above are players who could readily destroy me in a game.

But as the sport grows and, presumably, ladies specific tourneys continue to grow in size and number (which is good!), people will begin to wonder if the separation is warranted. They’ll look at almost every other sport and say “well, they must have done it for a reason, right?”

But have you watched ladies lacrosse? Man that’s weird. They have a no contact bubble. What?!

Would there be benefits? Probably some: women who aren’t playing the sport now might me more apt to start playing, there would be more tourneys that sprout up, and more recognition for the women who have already made a name for themselves in the sport.

But is that worth it? Would we as a sport lose something bigger by separating sexes like some middle school square dance?

I think we would – but I sure as hell want to hear your opinion.

Missing polo tonight

I’m getting ready to graduate tomorrow, and that means I’m packing up my writerly things and fluffing my beard just-so. Unfortunately this also means I’ll be missing bike polo tonight to catch up on office work and/or preparing my liver for the after-party.

I’d like to imagine that bike polo tonight will be a lot like this:

 

Anyway – I’ll be graduating tomorrow and drinking the rest of the day away, so I’ll see you on the other side. Cheers.

Things I’m excited about

There is, occasionally, a very #polowriterproblem when it comes to this blog – there is too much going on and only one of me to talk about it. So, to bring it all together, I’m writing a list of the things I’m excited about right now. Right now, baby.

 

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1. Ladies Army this weekend: no, I couldn’t afford to go, but I’ll be following along on podium and watching live feed action (bikepolo.tv, for the win). That’s just as good, as I can legitimately get drunk in my writer’s aviary and feel like I’m there (in that I’m drunk and considering taking off my shirt).

fixcraft2. Fixcraft’s new line of stuff: the upcoming cleat, the lifeline braking systems/accessories, the new colorful shafts. Sweet God there are just so many things coming out of that place. I’m going to pokemon the hell out of it. I was a touch worried when they missed the “beginning of the season” release of items, but now they are back on their game and showing the world what they can do.

Northern Standard Hourglass (3)3. Shaped Heads: Northern Standard and Modifide are pushing bike polo equipment forward with their new head designs. I’m planning to write up a bit more on this in the future, but what excites me the most is that there is something different. Not better, necessarily, but any experiments in our sport are great–I’m glad they refuse to sit on their haunches.

Mr Do4. Mr. Do: OH MY GOD I JUST LOVE HIM. I’m happy that this site supported him, and I’m happy that you’re now going to go over to his page and donate money to him, to. You can do that right here and right now. 66 hours left. Hop to it.

 

 

Crusher Irish and Ted Lancaster United Bike Polo5. Team Scrimmage: I have a team, and we are Scrimmage, and we are going to Flour City (at the very least). It makes me feel good to have two other guys who love the sport as much as I do (and don’t take competition too seriously).

The RVA Pickup Day: An Unexpected(ly successful) Journey

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A little while ago Horse Invited me to travel down to Richmond, Virginny, for a big pickup day between multiple clubs (I honestly can’t remember all of them, but I want to say it was Lancaster, DC, RVA, and Charlottesville, maybe?). Naturally I was up for it as an irresponsible escape from completing my thesis for the MFA, so I signed on to travel with my fellows:

Yeager

Yeager

 Irish

Irish

 Horse

Horse

 Me

Me

 

The pickup day was Sunday, which was fortunate as I received my new mallet stuff to test from Fixcraft on Friday and I had all of Saturday to walk around the house with it, frightening the cat. On Sunday I woke up around 5:30, put on my polo outfit (something off the shoulder, you know, for the boys), and went to pick up Horse.

2013-04-28 08.00.03We were supposed to meet Irish at Cycleworks at 7 AM sharp, so naturally Horse slept in until I was at his doorstep and stumbled onto the sidewalk with little knowledge as to what was actually happening. AND THEN WE WERE OFF!

…to Sheetz to get some breakfast. We agreed that if Irish wanted to stop somewhere, we’d just tell him we hadn’t eaten and then eat again. Ah, the joys of being big.

So we met up with Irish, loaded his Suburban, picked up Yeager, and were off. We stopped at a rest stop which had Ice cream and Red Bull, so I got that too, because go to hell, that’s why.

And then we looked, just casually, at the radar. Read more

Sprummer is here, welcome to endurance polo

happy sun

I enjoy polo in the Spring and Fall, but it seems this year we’re bumping directly into Summer around South Central PA (represent!). That’s ok – I’m okay with making a new season called Sprummer. It works for me.

Something that I’m really looking forward to is the game of endurance polo. Sure, for winter polo you’ve got to worry about fingers falling off or icicles in your moustache, but there’s really never an endurance test in there. With warm weather polo you are legitimately working against your body’s desire to calm the hell down and drink lemonade on someone’s porch. Polo become a matter of grinding out the last few games of the day and sitting in your own sweat on the ride home. Mmmmm, that’s what I’m talking about.

For my part, I think playing in the heat is the best way to hone your skills. For one thing, you’ve got a variable (death through dehydration) that forces you to be smart about your movement. It can get hard to even swing your mallet in the warmer months, and that makes each missed shot that much more of a groanfest for players. You don’t move as quickly and the air isn’t as cool going into your lungs – which helps you feel like you’re just breathing in the B.O. of every other player on the court. Enjoy that thought for a minute or two.

I believe the most development of a player comes in the summer and I’m excited to watch some of our newer players grow during the Sprummer season. Here’s to bathing in Gatorade and sitting down on the court for a few seconds before realizing that the bacon smell is your own flesh.

Fun April Fools’ Jokes to Play on Polo Players

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Ah, April Fools’ day: when people who have been locked up inside of a house for the entire winter finally manage to get out and kinda go a little crazy. Why shouldn’t we, the bike polo players of the world, join in on the cabin fever festivities?

Here, let me give you a head start:

  • Whenever someone passes to you, scoop the ball out of play and then stare at them like they should have known better.
  • Replace a team mate’s mallet head with a paper mache, and when they destroy it, tell them to calm down.
  • remove seats from seat posts.
  • Add My Little Pony stickers to as many bikes as you can without being caught.
  • Carry a few extra balls in your pocket at the start of a game, and then drop them throughout the match.
  • Choose one player to follow on the other team. Stay behind them about five feet and keep humming the theme to JAWS.
  • When you’re the only one sitting on the bench, put weird items into people’s bags: a banana wrapped in a condom, a stuffed animal, or grandma panties. Bonus points if you write the name of the person’s grandma on the panties before stashing them.
  • Spraypaint a ball of aluminum to look like a orange ball, and then set it in the middle for joust. When a player swings at it and it a.)crushes or b.)flies uselessly into the air, shout “You’re a wizard, Harry!”
  • after each game, secretly adjust the position of a player’s handlebars
  • Build a mallet that looks very similar to another players but is two inches longer/shorter, and replace their own.
  • Start calling another player by the wrong name, then deny it.
  • Get your club (minus one team mate) to agree to one made up rule, and then convince the mark that the NAH does indeed require players to (yell “Yabba Dabba Doo” before taking a shot/keep both hands on the bars until shooting/wear ear protection/etc.)

“How can we get more spectators?” is the wrong question.

spectators

When you get the intelligentsia  of bike polo together, you’ll inevitably come to a point where the growth of the sport is discussed. Such was the case when I and a fellow game theorist came together at the Eastside thaw  to ignore the final game of the first day (congrats, Troy. I had no idea it was happening) and talk about the argument for how to make bike polo more “spectator friendly.”

Well, when it comes down to it, I think making the sport more spectator friendly is the dumbest single effort we could undertake. At least as far as making our sport grow and prosper.

It’s easy to see why people think having a huge fan base will help out, though:

More people watching means more interest at large, with means more sponsors, which means more money, which means more better polo.

Or, if you want to South Park it:  Read more

Happy Birthday Kyle!

kyle in full movement

Kyle, the grand-pappy of Lancaster City Bike Polo, is celebrating his birthday today. I for one just want to wish him all the best and thank him for the passion he brings to our club every damned pickup day.

Kyle has been the driving force of getting our club off the ground. He’s watched it grow and never stood in the way of the club moving to bigger and grander things. If you see him around today, buy him a beer. Or even better, buy him a beer at the tourney this weekend in DC.

Best to you, Kyle, you magnificent summabish.

LCBP Logo

Calling for Guest Writers

calling

I sometimes forget that this standing invitation is out – or at least I forget to mention it more regularly, but Lancaster Polo is always (and I mean always) looking for guest writers and contributed content.

In particular, I’m happy to accept anything dealing with tactics, rules discussions,  new equipment reviews, general rants, reflective diatribes, and whatever else deals with polo’s past, present, or future. I want to have different voices on this site -different opinions and an honest-to-dog conversational tone to the content itself. Hearing your own voice over and over can only be so entertaining.

underwood-typewriterNo, there will be no money (yet), but this blog is on the cusp of being able to throw a few bones at people for contributed content. I’m always cognizant of people who have helped me in the past or contributed before, and they’ll more than likely be the first to know if ever I get to the point of paying writers.

But, I mean, don’t hold your breath for that one.

What I can promise is great exposure for your name and your thoughts on a forum that (somehow) people trust and respect…mostly.

So, if you have an idea for a post or are interested in featuring your content here, feel free to contact me (mlkabik(at)gmail(dot)com) and pose your post. I’ll be more than happy to consider it.

Cold Sweat, Busted MILKS, Chilly Knees

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Polo last night was exactly what I needed. Fast, intense games with lots of laughing and tequila. There were some one-sided sweeps like when Hylon, Yeager and I completely destroyed Lumberjack, Horse, and Karl (history isn’t written by the winners, guys. It’s written by the guy with a website, ftw). Overall, though, it was just a great night of very competitive games that somehow didn’t come off as overly serious or “tourney practice.”

We did have some frustrations though. For one thing, Lumberjack somehow left one of his mallets – yes, dear reader, the very mallet which had the MILK head I gave him out of the kindness of my heart - at the court last time he played. Well, some crooked bastards found it and decided “how can I make sure that everyone who finds this mallet despairs for the human species” and proceeded to slam it on the ground/run over it/dry hump it into oblivion: 

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I mean – come on, man. Come on.

20130206_173820_resizedSurprisingly (or unsurprisingly if you really like MILK heads), Lumberjack was able to use the mallet for the entire night. Even all jacked up like this. Sure, it probably affected his game a little, but I was impressed that, after being assaulted by a deranged walrus, it still managed to work as a decent mallet.