Archive for Other than Polo

I’m Looking for Women


To write for!

My post yesterday stirred up a lot of discussion among ladies and gents in polo, and that’s just swell. I was relieved that nobody thought I was being a sexist jackass, and excited by how much the article was shared all over Facebookland.

However, Adam Hite brought up a really great point concerning the fact that I was a guy writing about ladies:






I engaged in the conversation a little bit, and recognized that there was certainly a lack of female-centric, female written articles about the sport. I think this is dumb.

To that end, I’m opening up an invitation for any and all female bike polo players to become a contributing writer to this blog. I’m looking for someone who:

  • Can dedicate at least some time every other week to writing an article (about anything, really, but it’s especially good if it’s about women in the sport)
  • of at least 400 words

Alternately, this is a call to female players to create their own bike polo blog that addresses the particular challenges, successes, and experiences of gals in bike polo. If that were to happen, consider me johnny-on-the-spot to help out with getting the ball rolling.

Either way, I’m open for applications, questions or interests: mlkabik(at)gmail(dot)com.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Looking Gooooood

well then

Well, This Escalated Quickly

2013-09-15 12.12.01

Lancaster United recently came together to help build up one of our player’s bikes (he was rolling around on his everyday bike, and we didn’t want anything happening to a young man’s bike, you understand).

So everyone got together, got the parts, and assembled the bike.

Well, as it turns out, sometimes instant karma does exist, as evidenced by these photos:

Carter’s lovely mother brought a thank you picnic for the rest of Lancaster United as a thank you, and there was more pizza than any of us could possibly eat, and beverages to boot.

Well, anyway, it was humbling and wonderful, and entirely unexpected. My club is cooler than yours.

When you might not play polo

When you might not play polo on the day specifically set aside, each week, for polo:


BBC Eggheads Wants YOU (or us, but not really)


Hey all,

Well – Horse just got this interesting email:


I’m writing to you from 12 Yard Productions, a TV Production company who produce the BBC2 hit quiz show, Eggheads.
I wanted to get in contact as we are now working on our 15th series(!) and thought it would be absolutely fantastic to get a team of bicycle polo players on the show! It’s a lot of fun to film the show and it would be great to get the word out about this very cool sport!
If you haven’t seen the show check us out on BBC iPlayer but it is essentially a team of 5 of you (this could be teammates, colleagues, friends, family, anything you like) who take on the quizzing brains of our Eggheads. 
I have attached a link below to our contestant page where you can download an application form – if you’re interested and then you can just send this form back to me as soon as possible as we are holding Nationwide auditions over the next few weeks.
I have also attached a flyer with information about how to apply and would be really grateful if you could distribute this amongst people that may be interested in applying for the show… friends, family, anybody!
Thanks so much!
It’s apparent that the good people over at Eggheads think that we are based in Lancaster, UK, not Lancaster, PA. While it is a damned shame that I can’t rise to meteoric glory via this quiz show, I did want to mention the email as it seems as though they’re open for anyone applying – LOOKING AT YOU LONDON BIKE POLO!!!

Taking a little sick-leave



I’m taking a little sick leave from the blog today (and yesterday, I’m sure you noticed). I just can’t drum up the energy to avoid work and provide you with something to read. A thousand apologies.

Really, I figure you’re all busy watching clips from Nationals, right?


PS: I keep referring to North Americans as “nationals.” I dont know why, but to answer your question about how I feel about this mistake:

look at all

Happy Birthday, Troy!

troy 3

Just a quick little note to say happy birthday to 1/3rd of team Scrimmage. Troy is a stalwart polo player, a reliable friend, and he married a lass who makes some of the best pickled food I’ve eaten in my entire life, so that’s a  perk.

Anyway, Troy, a happy birthday to you. And in the tradition, an Irish birthday toast:

Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer-and another one!

Final Heart Update, and Thanks


Autonomic dysfunction (or Dysautonomia). That’s what the good doctors at Lancaster Heart Group have found my problem to be. The way it was explained to me was this: some people, when they are facing something like a bear or a rock star, faint. Other people get all fighty (in the case of the bear) or start screaming like a madman (in the case of the rock star, or maybe they get fighty, too, in the case of Justin Beiberwitz).

My body is saying to my heart: someone is always trying to fight you. Always. Be ready.

And so my heart tenses itself up, my blood vessels constrict, and my heart rate climbs. I’m always ready for a bare-knuckle fight–problem being that I’m generally staring at a computer or watching my stories on the Lifetime Network.

The good news is that this dysfunction generally works itself out around 32 or 33 years of age, so chances are pretty good that I’ll be able to stop taking the beta blockers by then. For now it’s just a reduced dose for the foreseeable future. That’s fine by me.

Before I close out this post, I just wanted to thank everyone who’s checked in on me. I’m both surprised and humbled by how many folks have contacted me through email, facebook, and text message to ask how I’m doing and to send a little kindness my way. You’re the best, and it’s one of the reasons why I do what I do on this little site.

Anyway, see you bastards on the court.

I continue my exile…


The ol’ ticker keeps on ticking, which is good. I can’t express to you how inconsequential my absence from bike polo is, in every way, as I am not dead and my club really doesn’t depend on me to bring the baked goods nor the power plays to the pickup games. However, all things being relative, it is pretty weak-tastic for me.

Yesterday Lancaster United had it’s regular Sunday pickup day in the sweltering almost-but-not-quite July heat. I stopped over to stretch my legs and I got all sweaty just standing there. Fortunately it started raining a bit, so I used that as an excuse to get away from the body odors. On the drive back to the fortress of solitude  house, I realized that I was being a remarkable doofus.

Wilson the Volleyball from the back with ChuckJust because I can’t play the sport doesn’t mean I can’t practice parts of the sport. I am pretty miserable at scoop passes: why am I not practicing that? I can work on my balancing or my off-side ball handling. Hell, I could just post my self in my basement and work on passing the ball to myself from under the BB. I don’t need to just mope around, holding my mallet and swinging it into the vast expanse of horror and boredom. I could be getting my skills up!

So here’s to the Crusher clinical I’ll be setting up in and around my home. When I come back you bastards better watch’choselves.


Watching pickup sucks


I went to polo on Sunday expecting to at least get a post out of it. Maybe something to do with the value of watching your club play and learning a little about the observation of the game.

Instead, I got all sorts of sweaty, my heart started getting tired, and I realized watching pickup is just about as boring as polo can get. It’s like watching people eat food. You can appreciate the act, but not taking part is kinda boring and borders on disgusting.

So I left early (after building a mallet up for Magpie, which was kinda nice to do, really), and I wandered back to the polo war room to enjoy the much-to-small-for-the-space air conditioning.

Eventually I zonked out for a half hour or so. That was fun, I guess.  I woke up and watched a few minutes of the South Central Regional Qualifiers until I realized it made my heart race, and then I felt compelled to turn it off.

Anyway – I figure my posts will become more strategic or philosophical until they work out what the hell is going on with my ticker. But for right now I’m just coming to terms with watching my polo bike pick up my mallet and run to the door.

…no, girl. No we aren’t going out to crush today.

I can tell you that it was humid as hell today at pickup, and that nobody was terribly pleased by that. We had a light drizzle which felt amazing, and…uh…some pistachios to eat…?

I’m going to go play with my Tagamagrams. Good day.