Archive for Contest

2014 Puppy Love Contest Winner!!!


I’m so happy to announce that out of all the wonderful puppy pictures we saw, this one was just the supercutest:

Winner4Congratulations, Jess & Spokes, on winning the 2014 Puppy Love Contest!

Well done to all entrants and I’m so happy all of you entered. Here’s to hoping all of us spend some quality time with our furry snuggle wuplekins or whatever you say when you’re talking to your pets.

The 2014 Puppy Love Contest




The rules are pretty straightforward:

1. Take a cute/weird picture of you polo dog/cat/pet doing what polo pets do.


2. Head on out to that Instagram that you kids love so much


3. Post the picture with the hashtags #Fixcraft #Bikepolo #Lancasterpolo


(Fixcraft and Lancaster Polo will review all of those lovely puppy love pictures and choose a winner the week of Valentine’s Day)

The winner will receive a Fixcraft Unibody Head with the winning picture sublimiated directly on the mallet head! 

Like this, but with a picture of your cute widdle pet on it. #FTW

Like this, but with a picture of your cute widdle pet on it. #FTW



One entry per person.

Contest open to the whole universe EXCEPT FOR YOU JUPITERITES

If you’re unable to use Instagram for any reason, please send your entry to me: mlkabik(at)gmail

We’ll announce our winner and share entries on Valentine’s day

Questions? post below or send an email my way.


Good luck!

Where’d You Get That Name? (Best Nickname Story Contest)


Hey all,

Well, we haven’t had an event together in quite a while, so I’m going to run an impromptu contest today! and it’s the



The rules are super simple: write up your nickname and how you got it in the comments below. The one that is the most interesting/funny/weird to me wins.

And what do you win?

You (you lucky devil you) get to either have your interview put up on this illustrious site, or you can pose a topic for yourself and I to debate/conversate about, the results of which will go up on Lancaterpolo (it could be any sort of topic loosely or closely bound to bike polo. I don’t care.).

If neither of those prizes really do it for you (but you still want to share your story), feel free to share anyway–I’m not gonna force you into anything, baby.

Okay, I’ll start:

Crusher: well, I like to say that my name comes from the fact that I was very physical when I first started playing, but that’s not why I got the name. There were a few nicknames that were being assigned to me by the club including bear jew (I’m Jewish and hairy), Lefty (duh), and Moustache Matt (again, duh), but none of them really stuck. Then Lumberjack posted a video featuring “The Crusher” from an old Looney Tunes cartoon, and that name stuck immediately. So basically my name comes from a cartoon character.

See, see how easy it is? We’ll see if this contest turns into a horrible flaming crash of an effort of if you goons and goonets join in–I’m hoping you do.

Anyway, leave your nickname story below. I look forward to reading it!

So Much Disappointment


(That’s what she said)

This weekend’s polo was outstanding, in that it involved me geeking out and reading about 200 pages of A Clash of Kings, making Irish oatmeal, and then lighting a fire in my backyard and drinking a scotch.

I guess the Lancaster polo kids have better things to do than play polo. I like to imagine the list includes things like saving children from lions, fighting Nazis or bathing, because anything else kinda comes up short for me.

Another fun thing: d’yall remember that sticker contest I was having for the past month? Wellsir, it’s a funny thing: sometimes I’ll run a contest and it will be a hoot of a success (Valentine’s day, for instance, was awesome). But then I’ll run something I suspect will get lots of people excited, and nothing happens at all.

For the Sticker contest, I got (I think) 5 entries from 3ish people (Trace and Hbach entered a sticker together). I’ll include them here for all of us to enjoy:

And those stickers are good, I appreciate them and they made me chortle, but none of them really made me go nuts. Basically, I didn’t get enough entries to vary the field, and that made me sad. So sad.

I’m still going to come up with stickers, of course, but I think this contest was kinda a failure, and I’m going to go ahead and call it dead on arrival.  I guess sticker making isn’t really up there on the priorities of bike polo players. I get it. Consider yourself heard, you ingrates.

At any rate, I’m hoping for some polo this week and maybe even a beer. A guy can dream, can’t he?

Design A Sticker Contest


I’m a jealous guy, I’ll admit it.

GOALHOLE has recently had some stickers made up, and I desire to have them all over my things. And it got me to thinking, “self, you have some time on your hands/don’t have any stickers for Lancasterpolo…”

So, it’s with no lack of excitement I announce the


The rules are pretty simple, as I am a simple person:

  1. The sticker must feature somewhere on it 
  2. The sticker must be black and white (or have the ability to be made black and white for sticker making)
  3. Sticker should be able to fit on a bike or wheel cover (nothing that will lose too much detail with shrinking, if need be)
  4. Enter as many times as you want. Let the creativity flow
  5. We will accept entries until July 27th (one month from today)
  6. I will select the one that I like the most, and will  be the sole judge on the matter
  7. If your sticker is selected as the #1 sticker, you agree that I can have rights to it (so I can print it up/distribute it as I see fit. Hooray legalities!)
  8. Since I’m the only one judging, members of Lancaster United are welcome to enter as well, but I’ll probably judge you guys more harshly than anyone else
  9. If for some reason I can’t decide between two stickers, I’ll make them both the winner and both people will receive equal-as-possible prize packs
  10. Open to the entire world. Looking at you, Luxembourg.

Prizes will include:

  • 25 of the stickers for yourself
  •  a feature on the site (interview or otherwise)
  • Your sticker graphic displayed on the main page for at least a year or so. Probably for longer than that
  • Some other stuff once I think this through a bit more – I’ll keep you updated as I come up with more things for you to win

The image can be anything – even a clever phrase like “I learned nothing from” is fair game.

You can submit your sticker ideas to me via: mlkabik(at)gmail(dot)com

I will announce winner(s) on July 31st.  Let me know if you have questions, and good luck!




We got this submission pretty early and, after we stopped crying (from the ill feeling or from the genuine love, we don’t really know), and closed the contest, we decided it was a simple but well told testament to bike polo love.

It’s an audio file, so pop on your earphones and get ready to tell people you were just cuttin’ onions.

Congratulations to LISA MOFFATT and TALL GEORGE, you are the Fixcraft/Lancasterpolo Polo Valentines of 2013!!


Cupid graphicsfairyred

Hard To Be Your Valentine


This Entry from kRisz all the way over in Budapest, Hungary. Awesome!


Hard to be your Valentine

Hard to give you a hug with a mallet in hand

as I am always hitting your head


Hard to kiss you wearing a helmet with cage

my tongue never reaches your sweaty face


Hard to feel joy in lacrosse glove

so get on your knees and show your love


Hard to play with hot orange in winter

Don’t run Baby, I’m a better sprinter


Hard to perform a ball joint on the other half

paint my heart full of wound and scar


Hard to love you and finish this letter

closing with a  compliment is better:


Your forkrake is much less than mine

Hard to play polo alone,

so be my Valentine


The Trifecta of Love


Shelly thought her Valentine deserved more than just a pithy poem or a few pictures: she went for the whole caboodle:

My Polo Valentine is so special that he doesn’t JUST get a poem, a sweet story, a photo, or a bullet point list of why is he so awesome….He gets em ALL!
Travis Mitchell aka. Travis Smiley
Lets get this straight…we all know there are dozens of good looking men and women playing polo all over. I’m sure I am not the only one with more than one…two…nine… polo crushes, but there is one special person that stands out above them all. His name is Travis Mitchell, I call him Travis Smiley.
  toptubeTravis and I met a little under a year ago and I have more unforgettable memories with him than I do with other people I’ve been playing polo side by side with for years. Now that I think of it I believe that Travis and I have only hung out on two occasions. One being the tournament I threw in Charleston, SC the second one being South East Qualifiers last year.
  One of my favorite moments with Travis happened during the end of my tournament when I was handing out prizes to the winners. I was about to move to NYC so I threw in a couple hand me down bike parts, swag, etc…so Travis came up and was scanning the table of prizes and picked up my (used) top tube protector, I mentioned to him that it had been mine previously and on impulse he immediately shoved the top tube protector under his nose and took the deepest whiff possible.
At first I wasn’t sure if I should be horrified, flattered, or embarrassed but then I just wanted to bust out laughing. I thought it was so awesome that I had just met this guy and he was comfortable enough to do such an offbeat thing. And it was at that moment (that Travis tried to get a whiff of my vagina) I knew we had bonded and I was ecstatic to meet someone as fucking weird, inappropriate, and forward as I.
fccd7ca69c9c11e180d51231380fcd7e_7Reasons Travis Would Make the Greatest Polo Lover:
  • He wakes me up at 8am to take morning dips together in the ocean before sundays double elimination
  • I trust him with my mallet
  • He scores winning goals and dedicates them to me
  • He sleeps on the closet floor, so I can sleep in the king size bed with three other guys
  • He shares his meat with me
  • We get drunk together, ride around in trunks of cars, and he lets me gnaw on his meatpaper
  • We both love playing Settlers of Catan almost as much as we love playing polo
  • I’m already his number one fan
  • He will travel 7 hours to play in my shitty tournament
  • He’ll tell me I played well even if I sucked
  • I’ll tell him he played well even if he sucked
  • He’s got a great body and a even greater smile
  • He’s a man stud
Raw, Sexy
Settling, Scoring, Gardening
Polo, Polo, Polo, Polo
Blocking, Meowing, Checking
Steamy, Breathtaking
If I can talk him into going to ladies army…I might even ask him to be my fucking date! (to bike prom)


A Valentine Story (WTF entry #2)

One has a last name of Valentine, the other the last name of Story. Put it together and you get this very uncomfortable picture  – we think this is the most WTF entry we got. Awesome:

valentine's day beckground - 02

My Other Valentine


Entry from Glasgow Matt, all the way from…Glasgow:

4 months ago I met someone.
Someone enchanting.
Someone who has taken over my every thought.
I wake up and I think about her.
I go to work and I think about her.
I come home, I eat dinner, I watch some TV.
Thinking about her.
When I go to sleep, I dream of her.
My Other Valentine.

Twice a weak, I leave My Girlfriend in the flat and go spend some quality time with My Other Valentine. My Girlfriend isn’t particularly happy about the relationship I have with My Other Valentine. But she would never take her away from me. She knows the love we share.

My Other Valentine is not mine alone. She captures the heart of many around the world. I do not love her any less for this. It’s what makes her special.

Polo, My Other Valentine.