And so it begins: ESQ2014 week


In just a few short days, polo players from all over the Confederated Clubs of Unilateral Animosity will converge on Lancaster City to take part in the Eastside Qualifier. These are players from all across the mid-to-north Atlantic and beyond, hoping to secure a spot for North Americans and, presumably, Worlds.

This is the first year Lancaster has hosted the qualifier, and we’re very excited to have so many people in-town to try out our whoopie pies and meet our kinfolk. We are likewise excited to get the whole damn thing over with so we can go back to not stressing out about it. TBH.

There are just a few things I’d like to bring up as a service to those players who are coming, and to all players who go to tournaments in general.

1. Join the event Facebook page: 

Join this page if you’re going to the tournament–it’s going to be where we give last-minute announcements and co-ordinate tourney events. If you’re confused about something, post your question there (or, hopefully, you’ll find some explanations on the page to help clear the air.

cheers2. We’re a big-small town: 

While you aren’t polo-ing there will be lots to see and do (we have a thriving downtown and lots of great bars/foodie places to hit up. That being said–we are also the kind of city where everyone knows everyone.

Basically, if you’re rude, it’s probably the case that you’re being rude to someone one of us knows and likes. Try to be on your good-time behavior. Lancaster is full of very nice, bicycle/bikepolo minded people, and we’d like to leave a good flavor in their mouths about the whole experience. PLEASE DO THIS FOR ME.

3. Lancastrians like to start promptly and as such we will be starting at exactly 9AM on both days. If you aren’t here, we’ll start the match with whoever from your team is. If none of your team is present, we’ll start the match without your team present. That’s just the way it goes. I’d suggest planning on being at the tournament field by 8:30 or so just to be sure.

4. NO DRINKING: no drinking no drinking no drinking no drinking no drinking. No drinking, no drinking. “No,” drinking.

If you can’t not drink on the tournament grounds, I suggest you call these folks here  and get yourself into treatment. After the first night of the tourney (and, chances are, after the second night, too) we’re going to have places for you to go and have a great time drinking to your heart’s content. However, we’d really appreciate if you–again–let us keep the great relationship we have with the city.

Park rangers will be patrolling the park and looking for those breaking the rules. They are rangers, so I mean…they probably have crossbows or something. Don’t force them to use them.

ref5. We will side with the refs 99.5% of the time so don’t try to find us if you don’t like a call some ref made. They are all certified through the NAH’s ref certification course, and their court is their castle.

If they really mess up, then yeah, we’ll address it–but generally speaking, their decision is their decision. If you go freaking out on our poor refs we’ll be happy to eject you from the game. It will make us feel powerful and mighty.

6. I will bother the hell out of you. Tourneys are pretty much article gold for me, so you just be on the lookout for some little fellow with a Pith helmet on. I’ll be snapping pictures and pushing my tape recorder in plenty of faces. Just accept fame. Just accept it.

I look forward to meeting you all (again). Best of luck!

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