Bike polo travel is a tricky business, wrought with the possibility of paying for your bike to travel with you, people not understanding the smell that your skin giving off, or thinking that you’re a cast member of a new, hipster version of Mad Max.
But take heart, I’m here to help. With these tips, you’re sure to make it to Florida safe and sound:
1. Do not practice your mallet swing while in the airport
2. If someone asks you what’s in your over sized checked bag, don’t say “sports equipment” and then start giggling.
3. Always keep one extra pair of clothing in your carry-on, just in case your “sports equipment” bag gets lost.
4. Try not to drink until after you arrive at your destination (okay, maybe a few quick ones in the airport).
5. If you’re travelling with a life partner, stop talking about bike polo. Just stop it right now and talk about anything else.
6. Charge all of your electronic devices. Make sure to get all of the cords tangled up so you have a reason to swear under your breath repeatedly during the flight.
7. Enjoy the cavity search.
8. If you find yourself running late for a flight, resist the urge to ride your bike to the gate. You will be tased, bro.
9. Act like you’re a famous sportstar. See if anyone asks for your autograph. You’ve already got the swagger, don’t you?
10. Practice your impression of Machine.