You are so dumb. You are Really dumb.


Bike polo (as my dear friend Ted has aptly explained) is a thinking man’s sport. It requires a certain level of foresight, strategerie, and learning in order to reach the potential available in every player.

But if you’re rolling around with big dumb rocks in your head, you’re not going to get anywhere, are you?

Do you find yourself:

  • Getting a stare-down from team-mates after a botched play?
  • Doing the same thing over-and-over without getting the expected results?
  • realizing you’re the only person facing the way you’re facing?

Well, it might be that you are dumb. So very, very dumb. 

But take heart: you can rise above your inherent dummy-ness and make something of yourself in pretty short order. Let me show you the way. 

professor XFirst, make sure you’re aware of your other players. Even if it’s just a general idea of where they are on the court. Tunnel vision is super easy to get when you have the ball, so try to make it a point to look around. If your team isn’t communicating well with you, talk to them after you inevitably get scored on. This will help you make smarter passes and not feel so trapped on the court.

Next, it’s not a bad idea to stop doing the same play over and over. You’re totally right: that one play where you drove up to the goalie, flicked your mallet around in front of him, and then shot was really impressive.

But it was far less impressive the 25 other times you did it without a goal. Be open to what the current play calls for, not what worked two games ago. Be open to the opportunities in front of you–don’t force ones that aren’t there to open up!

dum dumFinally, try to think two plays ahead. This is something that chess players and war criminals know a lot about: don’t concern yourself with where a player is right now, but where they are going to be in a few seconds. Think about the way your team-mates are rolling and where you can pass the ball–or how you can utilize a lane that is about to open up. Don’t get distracted by the noise and clamor of the situation that’s happening right now. Focus in on future, and you’ll be a step ahead of other players on the court.

So, through situational awareness, openness to plays, and thinking ahead, you can escape the dummy dum dum head trap of your dumb brain space and start playing like a stone cold thinker. 

Give it a try!

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  1. boogerface says:

    what’s with the lollipops ?

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