16 Signs You’re Turning into a Polo Player


How do you know you’ve made it as a polo player? Is it when you can scoop pass to yourself while spinning your wheels wicked fast? Is it when you can legitimately say that PBR is your favorite recovery drink? Is it when you stop asking dumb questions like that?

I’m from the internet, and I’m here to help:

  1. You think that facial hair is part of the required equipment
  2. Whenever you see a new building going up in your town, you scope out the gas pipe being delivered for the right inner diameter
  3. “Janky” has become a term you use to describe your bike, your house, your cat, your emotions, and the food you picked up before the tourney
  4. When on a bike ride, you spend more time trying not to check people than you do looking at the scenery
  5. You can guess  how long a person has played accurately by amount of stickers they have on their helmet
  6. Sleeping on a floor with carpeting excites you
  7. Somewhere in your bag is a bag of candy. You know it. Somewhere…
  8. Before getting onto a plane, you begin rehearsing your “no, it’s ALL hockey equipment. NO REALLY PLEASE DON’T LOOK THE SMELL IS HORRIBLE.”
  9. You have a corner of your basement for ski poles you cut too short, but aren’t willing to throw out
  10. You dream about court surfaces
  11. You might not know the phone numbers of all polo equipment manufacturers, but you know a guy who knows a guy who dated a girl who is now dating one of those guys. Totally in, you know?
  12. A visceral reaction occurs when someone says the word “taco.”
  13. You have a tan that only goes from your wrist to your elbow.
  14. You finish business meetings by saying “beer point.”
  15. It’s hard to explain to your coworkers what you did on the weekend.
  16. Adding “3 2 1” to the beginning of an event becomes more frequent (driving, standing up from a restaurant, sex, etc).
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  1. Horse says:

    9 and 13 all damn day.

  2. Primary Alex says:

    The harder part about #15 is assuring my co-workers that I’m not actually involved in an underground fight club…


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