Products I Wish Existed

photo from the US dept. of the interior

photo from the US dept. of the interior


  • Anything new from Malletheadz
  • A mallet that had a built in curve to it (no real reason, I just think it’d be a nice change. Maybe help with having a more dynamic ability under the bb
  • Helmets with built in face cages made specifically for bike polo
  • Wheel covers that reacted to being struck. Every blocked goal would also come with a trumpet sound and lights show
  • A universal mallet mount that strapped across your back (or your bag) like you were carrying swords. I guess I could just get a brace of scabbards or something, but that would require bumping into Bart at the renaissance faire, and that’s not quite up my line (anymore)
  • Light-up NAH style balls for low light play
  • A computer that rates the quality of sideline heckling. If someone shit talks and gets below a 65% rating, they aren’t allowed to talk for the rest of the current match
  • Anything that can add lasers to existing equipment. Lasers everywhere.
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  1. Karl Berwyn says:

    Sounds kinda like Gestapo-lo.

  2. Alias says:

    -Shafts with a varied thickness (similar to some Thompson seat posts) for directional rigidity.
    -Rims with direct mounting points/ridges for wheel covers.
    -Snap on mallet clips for top tube.
    -Top tube protector with zip-off mallet straps (I’m actually working on this).
    -Retail solutions for canti-stay adapters. This would be great for track bike conversions.
    -Polo specific shoes. cleat mounting hardware, a sneaker sole for when you foot down, and outer protection for side of foot and ankle.
    -Slide on grips for shafts. Are you listening Oury?
    -Polo fork with ISO’d mounting for disc brake bash guard standardization.
    -Polo specific time/score app with stored stats and FB interface for iPhone,Android
    -Polo goal and net kits (if we’re going to keep the 6’x3′ goal). For extra swag, make the whole thing mobile with wheels so it can be folded into a trailer and pulled behind bike.

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